


Living Like Love Is a Bad Word

by Thorns_of_a_Rose



Series: The Sound Of Love [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, F/F, Internal Monologue, Mentions of past abuse, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 20:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17250551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorns_of_a_Rose/pseuds/Thorns_of_a_Rose
Summary: Blake struggles with a drunk confession from Yang as the other girl starts avoiding her and acting like it never happened.





	Living Like Love Is a Bad Word

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by [L*** Is A Bad Word by Kiiara](https://youtu.be/AvG5VoD8eV4), a little piece I found that spoke to not just me, but something in everything I see.

            I never really knew why she ran, ran like something in her was scaring her so much she couldn’t even look at me. She never truly ran, she is a part of my life, living like nothing is wrong when we’re with friends, but she refuses to be alone with me, to let me in, to understand. The worst part is not the fact she is running from me, hiding herself away from me, holding her tongue with me, but the fact she loves me. She admitted it once, both of us drunk and high, and now I might not ever hear it again. I don’t remember much else from that day, but that one line, those three words, were clearer than anything else that night. Now I spend my nights haunted by that bliss, thinking I imagined it, desperate to create my own reality, and I don’t remember admitting the same. I can’t tell if the fact that I feel the same makes this better or worse. I want to be with her, I want to tell her the truth, but she won’t let me, she keeps running away from me.

 

            I wish I could just pretend that it didn’t hurt, that being around her wasn’t causing a pain in my chest, that I wanted to tell her, but I’m scared; I’m such a coward. I’ve always been terrified of love, the first time was a painful place, scars painted in places most can’t see. It’s been a long time, I’ve learned that the past can’t hurt me anymore, I won’t let it control me, but it still does, keeping me from her. I feel myself going into a mental state of emergency. Worse still, she keeps holding her tongue with me and even with her right in front of me, I can feel her running away from me. I feel like I made a mistake, that I was the one who confessed and imagined everything to keep myself from falling apart. I wish she would talk to me and tell me right now, I need her voice right now to wash away my doubts.

 

            It’s been months since that dream-like moment, it almost feels like we’re back to normal again, but the awkwardness is still there, it’s always there.  She spends every party getting wasted, acting like nothing happened, like it was really all just my imagination. She’ll say she’s my best friend and act like nothing is wrong, like I’m not hurting on the inside. She keeps getting wasted like she doesn’t want to face it. She slurs her words, stumbles over her thoughts, and even then, at this point of drunken stupor, I’m still falling for her, like I couldn’t hurt myself more than I already have. She keeps acting like this, and honestly I’m starting to believe that love is a bad word.

 

            Graduation is only a few weeks away and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been avoiding her completely, and it makes it hurt even more. I’ve accepted it though, she doesn’t love me, or if she did, she doesn’t anymore. Unfortunately, my friends are persistent, trying to set up a get together, just to get us to talk. I don’t understand why they’re like this, she’s obviously not interested, so why bother. Against all odds, it works, we end up alone at a party, her somehow sober enough to tell the truth.

            “I’m sorry,” she says, refusing to make eye contact.

            “Sorry doesn’t cut it,” my tone venomous, I’m so angry that it doesn’t matter, “You’ve done nothing but play with my feelings and then you just abandon me like it’s nothing, like I don’t matter!”

            “I was scared,” she shrinks at my words, “Terrified of how I felt. I want you so bad, I can’t think around you, I can barely focus at all. You’ve been the only one for the past six months, and the worst part is the fact that I know you don’t feel the same.”

            I’m stunned, my mind going a mile a minute with one simple thought, the fact that she might feel the same.

            “Blake,” my name snaps me from my stupor, eyes flitting immediately to the girl’s lips. I couldn’t hold myself back anymore, capturing her lips with my own. I could have died right there, but she keeps breathing life into me.

            “See,” I say as we pull apart, seeing joy in her eyes, “Love’s not such a bad word.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was originally going to be submitted to Thread, but they would only accept one submission, so I looked at my two works, and this one ended up here instead.
> 
> Disclaimer; The RWBY series, as well as many of the characters in this story are property of Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum.
> 
> If you wish to read more of my stories or see anything new by me, check out my tumblr, [RWBY-Scattered Petals-AU](https://scatteredpetals-au.tumblr.com) for more. Thank you all.


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